An Epic-ly Long Break (Alt Title: Hell Freezing Over)

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

How many of ya thought I’d never be back? Huh? Huh? Admit it!

Well, to all you doubters, I am BACK! WOO!

Where have I been? Well, I’ve been A LOT of places. Done A LOT of things. Let’s recap shall we?

Back in September, “the missing month”, I went on an EPIC cruise. My family and some family friends of ours went sailin’ the high seas of the Caribbean for 7 days and it was amaze-balls. Most of the eats were not exactly purelicious-approved BUT… I did take a boot camp class while I was there. It was seriously hardcore but I think I liked it. I couldn’t walk for the first 3 days of the cruise but hey, that happens! But there is no way that that class, in all of its thigh-destroying glory, evened out the extreme binge eating marathons at dinner every night, but it never hurts to try.

Fun things that happened on board…

I met Michael Jackson…

Kimmy, MJ, me

Okay so up close he doesn’t look that legit but let me tell you, from the seats this guy WAS MICHAEL. HE WAS! He moonwalked. He “wooooooh!”-ed in a delightfully high pitch. He wore high water pants and a sparkly jacket. IT WAS MICHAEL PEOPLE. Don’t question me on this.

I drank Russian vodka in a -17º ice bar for 45 minutes…

Moi, my broski, mama purelicious, papa purelicious

My mom out-lasted everyone. The woman is a trooper. I think the vodka helped but she was just on another level. Also my brother licked a viking:

My parents posed with a polar bear:

I made funny faces:

Let me tell you, weird WEIRD things happen when you are exposed to extreme low temperatures for that long. MY FATHER DANCED. Anyone out there who knows my dad, you get it. Miracles were happening in there. Hell had literally frozen over. And this is how much I liked it:

Spent quality time with the family unit and got stalked by onboard photographers…

me and the brother

mommy and me!

Things un-pictured…

Saw the Blue Man Group. Kinda weird, but neat at the same time. Bonus points for getting to spy on the men without their blue paint on at the bar late night.

Saw a mini Cirque de Soleil performance…. I really don’t get how these guys were balancing and flipping and spinning on ropes and hoops while the ship was rocking back and forth… that takes some serious talent. There was one point when I thought the two dudes teetering on a table that was on another table that was on a rolling cylinder type thing were gunna lose it, but they kept their cool. Sooo legit.

Went jewelry shopping with my mom. Hollaaa to David Yurman outlets and no taxes on the islands!

Made up some new dance moves. Which cleared out a dance floor. But… I think everyone was into it… right…?

Listened to horrible kareoke.

Ate fantastic dinners and amazing desserts every night and had multiple fabulous martinis with some fabulous company. Wait, there’s a picture of this (dark and blurry, but it still counts):

Got rained on at Atlantis, but savoured the afternoon by going on the shark slide about 12 times.

Got a massage, and laid on a hot rock chair. This chair… that curves to your body… made out of stones… and it’s warm. You need it. I need it.

I think that about wraps up the trip! Anyone who is into cruising, I would highly recommend the Norwegian Epic… it was seriously a great time. Top notch cruisin’.

I’m gunna save some other highlights from this past missing month (including some food, I promise) for another post… can’t wear myself out all at once.

I’LL BE BACK.

Or will I?

xoxo

Hilary

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